Date Night
by dead-body-number-2
Summary: The team goes undercover as gay couples to catch two killers targeting homosexual sailors at local clubs and bars. Not slash well maybe sort of pseudo slashy, but not really. Not smut. Rated M just in case for language and adult situations. Some McAbby.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - Date Night**

**By dead-body-number-2**

**Author's Note: **The team goes undercover as gay couples to catch two killers targeting homosexual sailors at local nightclubs. Sorry, no smut and no slash!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Gibbs' team was gathered in the bullpen early in the morning. Yesterday they had been handed a new case. Two men had been assaulting gay sailors and their partners at local D.C. night clubs and gay bars. Another NCIS team had been handling the case until two days ago when it escalated to murder. Gibbs' team had spent the day gathering evidence and interviewing witnesses trying to find out who had beaten a petty officer to death and left his companion in a coma.

Abby said, "These guys are good Gibbs. They haven't left much forensic evidence behind for me to test. No fingerprints, no DNA and the footprints and fibers we did get are too common to narrow anything down.

"Not much from the witnesses either Boss," DiNozzo added. "White, average height, average build. Wearing gray hoodies, dark pants, sun glasses and scarves and over their faces."

"We are treed," lamented Ziva.

"I think she means stumped," said McGee. "However Abby and I have analyzed the pattern of the attacks and we have narrowed it down to these places as the most likely to be where the next attack will occur."

McGee put a map up on the plasma.

"We need a new plan," said Gibbs. "You're going undercover."

"Yes!" yelled Tony. He loved undercover work almost more than he loved movies. Ziva thinks it is because he's secretly a frustrated actor who'd rather been in a film than watch one.

"What are we going as? Bartenders? Waiters?"

"No DiNozzo. You'll be going as a sailor."

Tony hissed, "Yes!", again.

"And McGee's gonna be your date."

"Boss?" McGee said with a bit of fear in his voice.

"Don't worry Probie. I'll be gentle," Tony said as he smiled.

Ziva started to giggle at McGee's reaction.

"And you Agent David will be with Abby."

"Cool!" said Abby. "I haven't done any undercover work in a while." Abby remembered when she and Ziva and Agent Lee have played arm candy for McGee's alter ego, Thom E. Gemcity, when the were trying get into One club. She felt a twinge of sorrow for Agent Lee who had been killed in a shootout while trying to save her kidnapped sister.

"Ha!" said Tony with a smile that threatened to split his head in half.

"DiNozzo, I am warning you!" said Ziva with an angry stare.

Gibbs' slap to the back of his head only partially wiped the smile off Tony's face.

"McGee, get with Abby. You're going to need to be dressed right."

Abby smirked at McGee. "Oh, this is going to be fun. Come on Timmy let's go shopping."

McGee looked at the others with his best "Help me!" face, but it was no use. Ziva and Tony just smiled at him and Gibbs stared at the map on the screen.

Abby had McGee try on a dozen outfits in the store before she found the one that worked. McGee stood before her in a purple, long sleeved shirt with subtle, embroidered vertical lines. He wore a pair of skinny jeans and dress boots with a slight heel. The shirt wasn't tucked into he pants and the top few buttons were left unbuttoned to show off a silver necklace with a St. Christopher pendant.

"Oh, Tim it's you!"

As he looked in the mirror he had to admit he looked good and was grateful that he had dropped all those pounds a while back.

"It's still missing something," said Abby as she walked around him. "I know! You need an earring!"

McGee didn't like it, but it did seem like a good idea.

Abby went over to the jewelry counter and quickly selected an earring. McGee came over and saw what she was looking at.

"Abby no! No, I am not letting you talk me into getting my ear pierced! You don't even have pierced ears! Besides isn't it going to be obvious that I just got it done with all the swelling and stuff?"

"Yeah, you're right. Guess we can use a clip on, but damn you would look so hot with a diamond stud!"

Abby selected a small pierceless earring for him and he tried it on.

"Perfect!" said Abby as she admired her handiwork.

Back in her lab, Abby was trying to persuade McGee to let her superglue a diamond stud earring to his earlobe when Tony walked in wearing a Lieutenant Commander's uniform.

"Wow! Don't you look sharp!" said Abby.

"Well, when you got it you got it and when you don't your name's McGee."

"Thanks Tony,"said McGee sarcastically.

"Actually McGorgeous, you're not looking bad. I assume this is Abby's doing."

"You assume correctly. Now, the clothes and hair and jewelry are done. Next you need to practice."

"Practice what?" said Tony.

"Being a couple. You know. Touching, hugging, kissing," said Abby with an evil grin.

Tony and McGee looked at each other uncomfortably.

"What? You're going on a date. You gonna stand six feet apart the whole time? Now huddle up."

After some eye rolling McGee went over and stood in front of Tony. Abby took McGee's arms and placed them around Tony's back and positioned Tony's around McGee's waist.

"Now kiss!"

McGee sighed and gave Tony a peck on the check.

"McGee! Your guy has been at sea six months and that's how you kiss him?"

"Abby."

"Shush. Now kiss like you mean it."

This time the two men kissed briefly on the lips.

"Better, but ..."

Abby moved Tony's right hand down to McGee's ass.

"McGee, you keep rolling your eyes like that and they're going to get stuck. Here let's try this. Close your eyes and keep them closed."

Abby took McGee's face in her hands and gave him a long, passionate open mouth kiss. After she pulled away, McGee, eyes still shut, had a big grin on his face. Tony smiled assuming she would do the same to him.

"Okay, remember that, keep your eyes closed and kiss Tony."

Tony winced slightly, but said nothing.

McGee did as he was told and kissed Tony the same way Abby had kissed him. After a few moments he broke the kiss. A string of spit dangled briefly between the two men's mouths.

"Nice! Now you're getting it. You have to think of it like costume you're putting on."

Tony smiled and leaned in to whisper in McGee's ear. "You have very soft lips Probie."

"DiNozzo…," McGee warned.

"Now go over there and practice. I have work to do."

She watched as Tony and McGee kissed again. Then McGee pulled away suddenly.

"Tony, you stick your tongue in my mouth again and I will slug you!"

"Sorry, force of habit."

"Yeah right!"

"Get over it McPhobic."

"Oh yeah? I almost forgot about that guy who tonsils you swallowed … Stringfellow!"

Tony reached up and flicked McGee's earring. McGee shoved Tony and Tony shoved McGee back hard. The fight was on. They jumped on each other and wrestled to the floor.

Abby shook her head and buried her face in her hands. It was going to be a long night.

**FOOF!**

**Author's Note: **McGee is referring to the events in Season 1 Episode 19 "Dead Man Talking" when Tony is undercover using the alias Stringfellow and unknowingly kisses a preoperative transexual, living as a woman, who is wanted for murder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Date Night Chapter 2**

**By dead-body-number-2**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

McGee and Tony were parked in Tony's Mustang around the corner and about a block down from the targeted nightclub.

McGee said, "Com check good Boss. You're coming in loud and clear."

The team was equipped with mikes and all but invisible earpices.

"_Roger McGee, time to move in. Abby and Ziva are already in place._"

Gibbs was in the surveillance van with a few other NCIS agents near the rear of the club.

Tony started the car and pulled around the corner and up to the to the valet. Tony hopped out of the car, took the claim check from the valet and ran around to open the door for McGee.

As they entered the club Tony leaned over and whispered in McGee's ear, "Showtime!" and patted his ass. McGee sighed, stood up straight, smiled and kissed Tony on the cheek.

Tony kept his hand on the small of Mcgee's back as the matre d' lead them to their reserved table. They had selected table a booth in the back hoping the suspects would be choose a victim sitting in a more secluded area. Tony noticed Abby and Ziva sitting at a table where they could see all the exits as well as Tony and McGee's table. Tony also made sure to scan the room so the microcam concealed in his tie could get a good view of the other patrons of the club.

They took their seats in the small, round booth and immediately heard Abby's voice in their earwigs.

"_Get closer! You're here on a date trying to get lucky, not at a church picnic_!"

The agents moved closer together and Tony put his arm around McGee's shoulders.

The waiter soon came and took their drink orders. Tony ordered an imported beer for himself and a white wine for McGee. Normally they would have chosen nonalcoholic drinks, but they didn't know if the staff of the club was involved and wanted to appear as they were just your typical patrons getting a little drunk and thus all the more vulnerable. All the previous victims had high levels of blood alcohol.

Tony leaned over and pretended to nuzzle McGee's ear. "See those guys on your two o'clock?"

"Got 'em Tony. They've been eyeing us since we sat down."

"Well, you are smokin' hot tonight Probie." Tony smiled.

"_DiNozzo!_" Gibbs's voice was loud in Tony's ear.

"Sorry Boss." Tony cursed himself for forgetting he was wired for sound.

"_They do not look very happy._" Ziva added.

"_No hits on facial recognition yet._" Gibbs reported.

The waiter soon arrived with their drinks.

After taking a few sips of his beer Tony said, "Maybe we should get up and dance and see what they do?"

"_Go for it._"

Tony got out of his seat and offered a hand to McGee. They moved to the dance floor as an up tempo number began to play.

Tony had always been a fair dancer, but was really impressed with McGee's moves, expecting the Probie to have zero rhythm. He smiled partly as part of his cover and partly at seeing how far his partner had come with his undercover skills.

"_Pretty good huh?_" said Abby in his earpiece.

"Your work again Abs?"

"_Yep_."

"_Enough chatter. Concentrate on those two._"

"_They have appear to have lost interest,_" said Ziva.

McGee and Tony continued dancing until the song ended and a slow song began to play. McGee began to walk back to the table when Tony grabbed his arm.

"Where you going, babe? You know this is one of my favorites."

"Of course. How could I forget?" said McGee sounding a little forced.

Tony took McGee's hand in his own and put the other behind his back and pulled him close. The two began dancing check to cheek, slowly turning so they could scan the crowd.

"My great aunt taught me how to slow dance when I was twelve, said McGee into Tony's ear. Good thing she's dead 'cause if she could see me now it would kill her."

Tony noticed another man watching them and slid a hand down to McGee's ass to gauge his reaction. McGee flinched slightly at the touch.

"DiNozzo you are enjoying this way too much."

"No, Tim. Guy in the green shirt over by the bar. Ziva?"

"_We see him_."

Again the possible suspect turned his attention to other things and a few minutes later the face recognition turned up nothing suspicious. After the song ended Tony and McGee returned to their table, finished their drinks and ordered another round.

As the night went on and possible suspects failed to pan out McGee and Tony started to relax and their interaction became less forced. Despite scolding from Ziva and Gibbs, Abby kept giggling at the idea of her coworkers, one a former boyfriend, on a date, dancing together and more.

Back on the dance floor again, Tony leaned in and started nuzzling McGee's neck as he said, "Probie let's make out a little and see if that draws any attention."

By now McGee had had enough alcohol in him that he didn't resist Tony's suggestion. He soon realized that if he closed his eyes and thought about Abby it wasn't so bad. She was looking very hot tonight with her hair pulled back in a single pony tail, wearing a black T-shirt, black jeans, a leather jacket and biker boots. He got a little carried away and bit Tony's neck.

"Easy Probie! That's gonna leave a mark."

"Sorry Tony. I …"

Gibbs voice came over the coms, "_Stand down. We just got word that Agent Velasquez's team caught the bastards at one of the other clubs._"

McGee let out a big sigh of relief and left Tony on the dance floor as he moved a bit unsteadily back to their table.

Tony muttered, "Damn! This was just getting fun." He followed McGee to the table, disappointed that another team had made the arrest and not them.

Abby and Ziva soon joined them.

"This was so cool! I can see why you guys love undercover work. You get to pretend to be this whole other person," said Abby.

"Shut up Abby!" said McGee and downed the rest of the wine in his glass.

"I think you're a little drunk there Probie," said Tony with a smile.

"You shut up too! I'm going to go home, burn these clothes and shower for a week."

"That's a little homophobic don't you think?"

"No, not because of that, because of you Tony. If I was gay I won't date you if you paid me."

"That hurt Tim."

"Tough."

Gibbs' voice came over the com again. "_Good job. Abby, Ziva, drive these two home._"

"Boss, I'm okay," complained Tony.

"_DiNozzo, I've seen how many beers you've had. Let them take you home. That's an order. Gibbs out._"

Ziva grabbed Tony and Abby took McGee and they made their way out to the parking lot. Abby lead McGee over to her hot rod and he got in and slumped into the passenger seat. Abby waved goodbye and got in, put McGee's seat belt on for him and then her own before driving off.

Ziva turned to Tony and held out her hand and demanded, "Keys!"

"What? Oh yeah, I valet parked." He handed her the claim stub after he fumbled in his pockets for a while.

"Tony you _are_ drunk!" said Ziva as the walked back to the valet. She handed the valet the ticket and when Tony's car was pulled up to the curb he tried to get in the driver's side.

"No, no, no you are not in any shape to drive." She steered him around to the passenger seat. Then tipped the valet and got into the driver's seat.

"Wait, you're driving my car? No Ziva. No way!"

"Yes, way."

She hit the gas and burned rubber down the street with a huge grin on her face as Tony yelled, "ZIVA! Stop! Oh God, I'm gonna die!"

NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS

The next morning Ziva arrived at work and saw that Tony was already there, showing no apparent ill effects of the previous nights drinking.

"Good morning Tony! You look like you slept well. I expected you to have a hangunder."

"That's hangover Ziva and DiNozzo's do not get hangovers. Oh and Ziva, I hope you enjoyed driving my car last night because that was the last time you'll _ever_ get to drive it."

"We'll see, " Ziva said as she smiled coyly.

The elevator dinged and Abby bounced out then turned back and dragged a seriously hungover McGee into the squad room.

"Come on McGee it can't be that bad."

"Abby, please, take my gun and just shoot me," he groaned.

McGee looked like hell and was wearing a pair of dark aviator sunglasses to ward off the light that threatened to burn out his retinas. Abby walked him over to his desk and sat him down in his chair before moving back to where Ziva and Tony were standing.

"Hey guys! That was fun last night. We should do that again. I loved that place."

"Abby he really looks sick. Is he going to be all right?" said Ziva

"Oh he'll be fine. He's just not used to drinking that much."

"Abby all he had was white wine," said Tony.

Abby shrugged and a big grin appeared on her face. "Tony, I have to thank you."

"What for?"

Abby leaned in and whispered to Tony just loudly enough for Ziva to hear, "I don't know what you did to him last night, but when I got him home and tried putting him to bed we ended up fucking our brains out."

Abby turned and skipped over to McGee and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and ran off to her lab smiling.

Tony stared slack jawed at McGee while Ziva tried to suppress a laugh.

McGee, still wearing his sunglasses, took a swig from a bottle of pink liquid, looked up and noticed them staring and said, "What? … WHAT!"

**FOOF!**


End file.
